What is it about both faith and fear that is such a great propeller of people? The Feel the Love 5K put on by the Brynmawr Running Co. is the race I think about all year - with faith and fear - until my feet hit the starting line.
If I'm doing intervals, I'm thinking about how sick I feel after pushing it hard for 3.1 miles and tell myself to suck it up for just a few more seconds of any given stretch of speed work. If I'm hurting at the end of a marathon, I'm questioning whether I'll be able to kick it into high gear as I near the finish line. If I'm out on a super hot August morning and struggling, I remember how cold this particular race is and return to the grateful garden of humidity, summer and sweat. For one reason or another, this race sticks with me and grounds me during the toughest workouts.
I admit that this race intimidates me. I'll say it: A snappy and impossibly fast 3.1 Winter miles is a complete mind f*** for a distance runner. The temperatures over the years have included, single digits, snow and fierce wind. There are icy corners, lanes, people flying around in personal competitions for PRs, long, hard strides and footfalls that are rapid enough to steal your breath... and serious runners. These are the kind of runners you hope to count yourself among but never actually do - out loud. Rather, you let them silently count you among their ranks.
Rolling up to this race, the first thing you notice is that everyone is at fighting weight. At 5'9 and 130 lbs, I do not stand out. Rather, I mix right into the crowd of ultra thin, tall and gangly people covered in thin layers of legitimate vintage running clothes. The organizers run out of Women's XS and S T-Shirts. 100 of us can fit into 12 by 12 tent easily. This is the no frills, just run this bitch of a race crowd. We are tiny, cold, huddled and waiting to crush a coarse. Jaws set, eyes focused and hearts pounding. We stand and watch our breath hit the air.
What I love about this race is exactly the thing I dread about it for 12 months out of the year: there are no first timers. No one standing at that start line is wondering if they will finish. This is a Race with people that are not there for the fun of it. And sometimes, I think, you need that. Runners need to check themselves and see if they still have it. There is only so long we can convince ourselves that getting older has not effected our joints or our stride. There comes a time when we need to see the work payoff and make a note somewhere in some brightly colored running journal of the PR we sought and obtained on a freezing day in February against a lot of tough contenders.
This year:
I was the 22nd female to cross the finish line out of 158;
I was the 6th female, 30-39, to cross the finish line out of 53 in my division;
I came in with 21:47 and took 23 seconds off of my previous, nearly year old, 5k PR; and
I ran two loops looking for the other bright pink shirt matching mine and reading "For the Love of Polly"worn by the woman that has propelled me back into believing in myself as an athlete.
This means something to me above and beyond the validation of a PR. It reaffirms that I'm still a contender; that my training, even though I've backed away from straight forward running 6 days a week, is working well; that my plan is solid; that my nutrition and fueling is spot on; that, 4 years into this wild ride, I'm starting to figure it all out.
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