Not every run will be meditative magic; not every mile will transform you; and not every hill will drive you. Sometimes, your mind is too wound up; your body too beaten; and your will without its edge.
Tonight, I smiled through a bad run, convinced that no one has ever felt worse than I did in these 4 miles (or more dramatic). Inside the pain and fatigue, my unfocused mind could barely move in the same direction as my feet. I was, quite pathetically, all over the place (with my breathing, my pace and my motivation). Even my loyal Garmin turned fair weather friend tonight.
My response?
Work through what I could, table what wasn't important, leave the guilt of (god forbid) cutting a workout short behind and go where I wanted to go.
I think it takes our inner athlete's loss to our inner child every once in a while to accomplish something even greater than a masterful workout. Today I reminded myself that I run because I love it, not because it's a means to an end (the marathon) and not because I have a distorted sense of obligation (to check blocks off my running program).
So, although the 4 miles I put down tonight were not great, I smiled a lot, ran next to a beautiful sunset and did not turn myself over to our adult tendencies toward guilt and disappointment. Still a win in my book.
You are amazing!!!!
ReplyDelete